Sunday, September 18, 2011

PSA: George Clooney will not Remarry

Dear Ladies, 

George Clooney has gone public about his relationship with Stacy Keibler, whoever that is. These two gorgeous people (though she really doesn't do anything for me; blondes, IMO, are over-rated) have been spending some time together for the past few months, and, undoubtedly, they will continue to do so for the next few months/years. Even so, you can be sure that Ms. Keibler will not be the next Mrs. Clooney. 


B/c George Clooney said a long time ago that he will never remarry,* and numerous long relationships that have not led to a walk down the altar should be evidence enough that he means business. That is, the business of staying a bachelor. 

If Clooney's ex-flame Elisabetta Canalis, who is smokin' hot - she's like one part Kate Beckinsale and one part Alessandra Ambrosio and one part Italian accent - couldn't get the guy to put a ring on her finger, I assure you, there is not a woman out there who will. 

So: stop dreaming, stop theorizing, stop guessing, stop scheming. If what you want is a big ol' rock; the romantic vowels on the beach; the growing fat together as you grow old together, try pinning your hopes on someone other than one of only three men* to rank as People's Sexiest Man Alive twice (1997 and 2006). Besides, he probably works too much and doesn't pick up his underwear.

Yours Truly 

* Clooney was married to Talia Balsam in the early '90s. 
** Brad Pitt and Richard Gere (yum) were the other two. 

1 comment:

  1. Hey wait a cotton pickin’ minute....I’m blond and my wife tells me I’m the most attractive blond she’s ever come across! Okay, now I feel better....

    George Clooney isn’t marriage material, that’s for sure. He’s that super duper attractive guy that every woman on earth lust for but will never, ever have. I love the idea of growing old, fat and senile with my beautiful European wife of 14 years.