No. Nope. Huh-uh

I simply cannot understand the appeal of the "poncho" or the "cape." Since last year, I've been seeing these things all around, and they continue to baffle me even now. Would a sweater simply not do? Or perhaps a jacket? A light-weight zip-up of some sort? 

As I have always understood these two articles of clothing, a poncho is worn in rainy weather, frequently purchased on the spot for a sporting event or tourist-izing, and it's plastic and, well, ugly: 

The cape, on the other hand, is a staple for super heroes and vampires: 

Why are we now re-purposing these items in the name of fashion?! 

At Thanksgiving my darling 14-year old niece was wearing this black sweatery thing over a white long-sleeved t-shirt, and I was thinking, "WTF is she wearing?!" when my mother said, "Oh, your poncho looks so cute!" Well, that was simply not true. I love my neice a bundle, and she's a doll, but that "poncho" was a horrible, hideous thing. 

I'm not actually sure I even understand the difference b/t the two, and, when my mom called it a "poncho," I thought she was just out-of-touch and it was really a "cape" (now I'm guessing she was probably right), but it seems that each of these is somehow its own individual style. Maybe a cape, like Batman's, goes over your shoulders and is open in front, while the poncho goes over your head and doesn't open in the front. I can hardly even believe I'm thinking seriously about this. 

Yes, yes, I know all you poncho-and-cape-wearers out there are thinking how un-hip I am, and perhaps you're right. But I just don't see how these things are flattering, and, I might be crazy, but I thought the point of "fashion" was to look good? 

How, exactly, is this poncho flattering?! 

Of course, I did for years say I'd never ever (ever) wear skinny jeans, boots, and leggings, and those proclamations got swept away in the course of but one fall season. Even still, I just cannot imagine myself defiantly donning a cape (or a poncho) and heading out into the world to conquer the day.