"Dragging that garbage can with all that cat litter in it was like dragging a dead body"

In walks husband from taking out garbage, panting. Seriously panting. 

Me:  What's wrong? 
Him:  (Huff) Dragging that (huff) garbage can (huff) with all that cat litter (huff huff) in it was like (huff) dragging a dead body. 
Me:  I see. 
Him:  I had to like (huff) do it in shifts. (goes to kitchen) 

[a (huffing) moment passes] 

Me:  What do you know about dragging a dead body? 
Him:  Nothing. 
Me:  I see. 
Him:  I think I hurt my back. 
Me:  You've got to be sh*tting me. 
Him:  Not seriously hurt it, just irritated it. 

[a moment passes; still huffing, he enters the room with ice pack] 

Him:  Don't judge me. Better safe than sorry. 
Me:  I'm very much judging. 

[Still huffing as I post this]